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  • In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as "the old ball 'n' chain."

  • In Los Angeles, it's illegal for a waiter to tell a customer "I'm really an actor."
  • In Indiana, it's against the law to dress "Barbie" in "Ken's" clothes.
  • In Sedona, Ariz., it's illegal to lie about your astrological sign.
  • In Texas, it's illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun.
  • In Samoa, it's a crime to forget your wife's birthday.
  • In Australia, it's illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.
  • In Cannes, France, it's illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask.
  • In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" by saying, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is an automatic $300 fine.
  • In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red.
  • In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean.
  • In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working.
  • In Vermont, it's illegal to pick your nose and stick the pickings under a table.
  • In Tennessee, it's illegal to tell someone to quit smoking.
  • In Oregon, donut holes must be at least an 1/8th inch in diameter.
  • In Georgia, it's illegal to teach a child under 5 the words "penis" and "vagina."
  • Unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties in South Carolina.
  • In Italy, anyone considered "obese" is forbidden from wearing polyester.
  • It's illegal to tear a phone book in half in Montana.
  • Anyone caught selling a "smoothie" that has lumps is breaking the law in California.
  • In Arkansas, it's illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown.
  • In Pennsylvania, it's against the law to put a dollar on a string on the ground and yank it when someone tries to pick it up.
  • In New York City, it's illegal for a restaurant to call it a "corned beef sandwich" if it's made with white bread and mayonnaise.

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